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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A typical night in the life of a trivia host / case worker

To say my life is boring would be a lie. To say it doesn't give me a headache sometimes would also be a lie. But at least I can look back on nights like these (which is basically an almost-nightly thing, so reminiscing is hard to do when you're surrounded by more insanity, but I digress...) and appreciate them for what they are: awkward, unexpected, and usually hilarious in some sense or another.

Work all day, nothing eventful there. After work is when it got interesting as I began my transition from case worker Jordan to trivia host Jordan.

Valeted my car outside of Amici on the beautiful Federal Hill in Providence and took a short stroll. Emphasis on short because it was absolutely freezing and I have no tolerance for that. The cold and I are not friends.

The fountain in Depasquale Square

Despicable Me minion cake and some adorable Autumn-themed cakes in some random bakery
I started setting up for trivia and get a phone call from one of the clinical assistants...We had a casual conversation about how one of the staff was being attacked by someone and she could audibly hear the staff being hit with a chair. Oh, great. Funny that someone just said that particular house needs an exorcism. Real life irony.

Dinner pre-trivia, eaten in front of the Name That Tune answer sheet and what is referred to as "the cortex"
I snacked on a new-to-me flavor of Premier Protein bar I had won in a blog giveaway a few months ago. I was kind of hesitant to try yogurt peanut butter, but I brought it along with a double chocolate crunch bar from the same company. Hunger hit and my tastebuds said, "No thank you, chocolate" so I dove into the yogurt peanut crunch and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. A solid 7 out of 10 as far as bars go, and I have high standards. I just wish it was lower in sugar (10g is a lot) and sodium (410mg!). Otherwise, this bar supplies 30g of protein and only 8g of fat for only 290 calories, and it doesn't skimp on size.

Most awkward moment of the night goes to the middle-aged Polish man drinking champagne and Hennessey at the bar with who I can only presume to be his two younger brothers. I ask if he wants to play trivia. No, he says he is too dumb. Then he proceeds to tell me I am perfect because I'm so thin and Americans are fat. He asks where I'm from...Sorry to burst your bubble, dude, but I'm born and raised in RI, and I've only been overseas once for like a week. He goes on to ask how I stay so thin, if I have a boyfriend, and why I should get a Polish boyfriend. I laugh it off. 

No, my friends, the weirdness only intensifies. I try to leave to start up trivia and he grabs my hand and starts semi-carressing it as he tells me that I am just his type because he likes skinny girls. According to him, I should date him for his money. He then points to his companions and identifies them only by age and what they can offer me. The youngest one can give me love, the middle one can give me half love and half money, but this guy, the eldest of the three, can give me money. Then he tries to get me to drink champagne and Hennessey with them. I refuse. He persists in asking what I like to drink, he will buy me anything. Uhhhhh, tempting as all of this sounds, I get the hell away from that side of the bar and avoid all contact moving forward, just focusing on getting my trivia on. He blew me a kiss as he left an hour later. 

Will my life ever be normal?

I hope not.


  1. That's hysterical ! Too bad he wasn't young and cute!

  2. I know! Just my luck, right? Haha